Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Guess What?



Ok, so I am pregnant. Due September 1st. About 9 weeks along. Our kids found out before we were ready to announce, which kind of threw me. Early in January they were asking questions about the baby I miscarried earlier in the year. They had remembered that it was due in January. And then Roxcy asks, "Are you pregnant?" Umm . . . ummm . . . the news was only a few days old, but we couldn't LIE. So we said, actually yes, but you have to keep it a secret, mom wants to go to the doctor first. They did really well. Roxcy's line (that she shared with her primary class and friends) was, "Do you know what my New Year's resolution is? To be better at keeping secrets. Especially the big secret I'm keeping now." The day after my doctor's appointment I was at the kids school and Jonah's aide congratulated me. At first I wasn't sure why she was congratulating me, but then she said something about another baby. The minute it was ok, he told everyone he could. He also likes to show anyone who comes over the sonogram picture. He's really hoping we can name the baby Artica. Their ultra uber excitement has brightened my mood about the whole thing. It's hard not to catch their enthusiasm. Don't get me wrong, I'm so happy to be pregnant. But I'm also maybe too aware of all it entails. With Roxcy it was all pure excitement, anticipation, hoping, dreaming. Even the nausea and growing belly were somewhat of a novelty and I was constantly curious as to what was going to happen next. Now I'm a little more . . . . . well . . . . tired. And more nervous. After miscarrying at 12 weeks, I'm afraid of a lot more. And I can't help but focus on the stories I hear from friends of stillbirths, chromosome abnormalities and premature infants. Anything seems very possible. But then Roxcy tells me she wants to change Colin's diaper to practice for when the new baby comes and Colin whispers "Hi baby" to my tummy and Jonah prays for "Mom and the new baby" and I'm overwhelmed with gratitude at the children I have and the one I'm carrying and I can't wait to see what will happen next.

11 comments:

Carrie said...

Congratulations! I was trying to figure out from your ultrasound pic how far along you are. I figured we were not far apart. I'm due Aug. 24th. I can relate to being tired, and nervouse about all the "what if's". But we can't focus on all that. Now, when are you moving closer to Utah? Or at least a visit?
We are so excited for you all!

Anonymous said...

Your kids are great. Hooray for another one.

daisy said...

Erin-
This is Daisy! Heh, that's awesome you guys are pregnant! Your funny about not lieing to your kids. I usually don't have a problem ...like when they ask me what I'm eating (chocolate candy and I don't want to share) I say, "mmmm..nothing." sad huh! And then Clayre usually adds, "It smells like chocolate." She has an amazing nose. I hope you guys are doing well.

Heather said...

We are so happy for you and for another cute Stanley kid. I don't think anyone makes cuter kids than you and Josh.

Maravilla Family said...

congratulations erin!

Tania said...

made me cry!

Roger McEvoy said...

Reading your feelings reminded me of some. I still don't know why Heavenly Father gave us 10 somewhat 'normal'children, but He did and I am very grateful. Each one is special, even to the father who doesn't have to experience the nausea and growing belly. But the anxiety and the worry are more common than perhaps is known, so I share in your excitement and knowledge of the gifts of God.

Grandpa Mac

robin k said...

How sweet Roxcy, Jonah and Colin are - I love their excitement and concern.

You and Josh are sweeties, too - your blog brought tears to my eyes.

Love you,
robin

Elizabeth said...

Since I have started working in special ed law - I tend to see ALL the different problems that can occur with kids. However, the kids are all amazing and so it doesnt seem like such a bad lot. More like a blessing.

Megan said...

This is big news for the Kelly family (East Coast section). Heather due in April, me in May, and you in September! That's a lot of grandbabies in our neck of the woods! Can't wait!
Megan McQ

liz said...

yay! congratulations (sorry i am delayed in reading!.

I have feelings much like you described, grateful yet more worried than I would have thought.

here's to both of our babies being well and healthy forever!